Collaboration—Bedrock for Growth (Feedback pt. 4)
By David Shrum | Ascend Leadership & Development
As we’ve been working out the process of giving feedback as leaders committed to transformational change, the aim has always been growth—for everyone involved.
Through this series we’ve covered key steps:
Asking for permission before giving feedback.
Ensuring the feedback is relevant to their vision.
Making the feedback specific.
Presenting it as subjective.
Creating dialogue.
Now it’s time to look at collaboration as the bedrock for growth.
From Dialogue to Solutions
From the dialogue we create—“Does this land?” “Have you received feedback like this before?”—the next natural step is to move toward solutions.
Leaders should enter these conversations with ideas in mind, but here’s the trap: when we walk in with a rigid script of how the conversation must go, we stop listening fully. I’ve been guilty of this myself, and I’ve seen it derail growth countless times. We rush to a crash landing on our predetermined plan, closing the door on collaboration.
But the truth is—the recipient may have a better solution than we do. Once feedback sheds light on a blind spot, people often generate creative, even brilliant, ideas for moving forward. In coaching we say, the client is the resource. I believe the same applies in leadership: the team member is the resource.
And here’s the best part: when we’ve asked permission, offered clear and subjective feedback, and aligned it to their vision, they will often be eager to collaborate on solutions.
Shared Solutions Create Shared Ownership
Like the most powerful vision is a shared vision, the most powerful solutions are shared solutions. Leaders should bring perspective, clarity, and direction, but space should be left for the team member to shape the commitments. When their voice is included, they own the solution.
I’ve seen this firsthand in healthcare. When I worked as a nurse, a large part of the job was writing nursing plans and educating patients. I found far more success when patients were involved in the process.
I remember one patient with a severe dermatological infection. He needed daily wound care and had to learn how to manage and monitor his wound and skincare himself. If I had simply handed him a checklist without considering his needs, we could have failed. And due to his comorbidities he may have faced compounding health concerns that could have led to poor outcomes, even death.
Instead, we collaborated. Together, we developed a plan that fit his circumstances. Within two months, the infection was under control and nursing care was no longer required.
The principle is the same in leadership: collaboration produces ownership, and ownership produces results.
Turning Collaboration into Commitments
Once solutions are on the table, it’s time to form commitments. These should always be:
Specific: What exactly will be done?
Measurable: How will success be tracked?
Attainable: Is this realistic?
Relevant: Why does this matter to their vision?
Time-bound: When and how will we revisit this?
When commitments are grounded in their vision, adherence increases dramatically. The plan is no longer a top-down directive—it’s a shared path forward.
When Collaboration Meets Resistance
Of course, not everyone will eagerly join the process. Some will resist dialogue. Some solutions will fall flat. That doesn’t mean collaboration has failed—it means more feedback may be needed.
You might say:
“Are you open to a notice I’m having? It occurs to me as though our visions are not aligned. I’d love to walk through this process of realigning, but my perspective is that you’re resistant. How does it occur to you?”
If the team member continues to resist and makes it clear they are unwilling to realign, then it may be time to explore whether their vision can be fulfilled in your organization—or whether they need the freedom to pursue it elsewhere. With the right posture, that outcome can still be a win for both sides.
The Bottom Line
Here’s the full feedback process we’ve covered:
Ask for permission.
Align to their vision.
Make it specific.
Present it as subjective.
Create dialogue.
Collaborate on solutions & make requests.
Build SMART commitments.
But all of this—every technique and every framework—will collapse if it’s not grounded in a genuine desire for others to grow.
If you don’t truly will the best for your team—if you treat them as objects instead of people—they’ll sense it. They’ll resist you, not because of the steps you missed, but because of the posture you brought.
Love, curiosity, and collaboration are what transform feedback from compliance into growth.